Two For Tuesday

1) The Hubs has a really odd pants size I spent my whole lunch hour looking for pants for him. Hes a freak or incredibly normal so that everyone else wears the exact same size and there were no pants in his size to be had. Hmm now I'm intrigued.

2) Marshmallow creme is the oddest substance known to man. I had to use some for a recipe and I don't know if its a solid or a liquid and I don't know how to get it out of the jar. Basically it ended up all over me, the kitchen, and you guessed it the dog. I gave up on the recipe and ate marshmallow creme.

Superuterus to the Rescue

All my sisters in law (is that right? like culs da sac? anyway) are super fertile and for awhile after I graduated the pressure was on hot and heavy for me to pop some out but the hubs nipped that in the bud and I think they are all scared now to even mention it. I think its great. They were all conversating about how if they all had as many kids as the mother ute and my niece was complaining she wanted someone to have another girl and no one even looked at me and I think this is spectacular. They are terrified of my reproductivity. I love it the absolute power. If I ever do squeeze one out they may die of shock I loves it. If I hold out a couple more years I bet I could get a car or something.

What Up Disney?

Ok Disney Needs to Institute Some Sort of Slut Test. My niece already wants to wear a thong she doesnt need to see a bare butt cheetah girl or Miley Slutrus with her nips out or making out with some girl. And This cheetah girl had this crap on her personal computer I know but she was sending to Kim Karshadian's brother hello! Deja vu much? When you make your living singing annoying songs to little kids you cant stand around with your hind end out in a hotel room and take pictures of it I'm sorry thats the price you pay. You're making my niece a ho please stop and you give her major attitude and she does that head roll thing when talks and it takes a lot not to smack her face. I blame you and those awful bratz dolls. Stop being a slut. Thanks.

Marsha Marsha Marsha

Its really no secret that I love Maureen McCormick. I have been eyeing her book since it came out but I feel conflicted. I have heard what its about and it kinda ruins Marsha Brady for me. I'm gonna let some geek slip out and tell you that I used to brush my hair 100 times every night because I wanted hair like Marsha, and then the hubby was like man all you do is brush your hair you never have time for me. No but really when I was like 6 years old I spent hours brushing my hair and I really wanted some awesome 70's outfits like Marsha. I even went as Marsha Brady for Halloween. My mom was horrified. I'm not sure that I can ruin that reading that Marsha was coked out and making out with Jan. It's like having a dream crushed. But I'm so nosey I feel like I have to at least peek at it.

Im Tired

Robbed

I was really looking forward to getting one of those little I voted stickers. I stood in line forever and didn't even get to stand in the booth I had to sit at a lunch table in the cafegymatorium and in the end there were no I voted stickers. I guess I have to settle for the satisfaction of being a good citizen.

Why November Will Be Scurvy Month

Last year we had at least 250 kids come to the door to trick or treat. We ran out of candy at one point and I had to run out and buy more. Also our beautiful animal went bats*%t crazy everytime the doorbell rang after the first couple kids decided to come in the house when we didnt open the door fast enough. So this year I wanted it to be different I wanted the animal to be well-behaved and beautifully dressed and I didnt want to run out of candy.First I bought 3 of the largest bags of candy Ive ever seen probably about 5 lbs of candy all together. Next I premedicated the animal with a turkey pill so he would be calm like hed just eaten a large turkey dinner. Then after the pill had started to kick in I dressed the animal in his beautiful costume and began to wait. The hubby and I sat here for the two hours of trick or treat without one kid coming to the door. Now we are going to have to eat the three bags of candy we are left with plus the bag the hubby asked me to get for him in case we used the rest to make sure he would get some. So heres to rotten teeth, soft bones, and obesity, bring on the candy!!!