Sometimes I even Amaze Myself

After this weekends shopping fiasco I decided we should take another stab at this weeks grocery list I mean not that Captain Crunch and pop tarts don't help me fit into my pants but the truth is yeah they don't. When I turned 23 God said alright your done, it shall be nothing but ex-lax and lettuce for you my child but that's another story best saved for another day. Anyways we are always seeing these big pouches that have a giant pickle in them. I love pickles we have a friend that owns a Subway and I requested a cookie bag full of pickles and I ate entire bag full of pickles one day until my tongue was sore. (yes I know I just said I ate pickles until my tongue was sore because I'm classy like that) So I always want to try one of these giant sour pickles and the hubby always says really? a pickle in pouch? I really don't think that's a good idea because I think those are the same ones that have been sitting there since we've been coming here. Today I decided was the day no man was standing in my way I was having a giant sour pickle. Let me just say I have eaten some truly disgusting things and this was by far the most disgusting thing I have ever had in my mouth and considering my high school days well never mind. I insisted on opening it in the car because well, who am I kidding I'm a 5 year old. The smell of this thing just about gagged me but with hubby looking on there was no out I took a deep breath and prepared for the worst. It was way beyond my worst expectations. I leaned out the car window to rid my nose and mouth of this atrocity while the hubby cackled uncontrollably. We finally pulled over at a gas station so I could throw away the remainder of the pickle and then rode in silence the rest of the way home. Even though the hubby grinned like a mad man and still cant look directly at me without bursting into laughter.

Because I Always Let You Know Before My Bday Too...

PS gifts are totally appropriate :o)

Are you new here?

So the hubby and I have been married for over three years now, in that time he has been grocery shopping with me at least 100 times. We almost always buy the same things with a few minor variations. With this in mind today while I lay dieing on the couch with strep throat he offered to go to the store and I agreed, thinking surely he could handle this. My fever ravaged body was surely insane at this point but I sat there thinking what a wonderful man to offer to do this chore. I tried to make this as pain free as possible and I made a list as I thought in my head aisle by aisle shelf by shelf which way he would go writing things down in painful detail. Colors names numbers locations descriptions, Helen Keller could have found what we bought with my list if only it was in Braille. So the hubby set out list in hand and I took a swig of NyQuil and closed my eyes and thought about why I thought it was a smart decision to take a job in pediatrics. 15 minutes later the first call came in then five minutes later another then a text then another call then another text then a call and I decided it would just be easier to stay on the phone. But no big deal at least we got what we needed or so I thought. Willy Wonka has nothing on the hubby. Our normal list was replaced with every 6 year old's fantasy of chocolate chip cookies, cakesters, frozen pizza, french fries, pop tarts, various sugary cereals, ice cream, and mountain dew. Oh some apples were purchased but they were baking apples. Oh well I guess its the gesture of love that matters!!

Married life teaches one invaluable lesson: to think of things far enough ahead not to say them. ~Jefferson Machamer

Tough Life Decisions

I have been waiting all summer long for the return of the Office and Grey's. I have longingly watched dvds of old episodes and passed the time with webisodes but tonight is the night I have been waiting for. Especially since my mom had to, you know, snap her foot off the night of the last episodes last season. I have possibly a million things I need to get done today but I'm spending all day trying to decide which one to watch and which to Tivo. I know not many people have to make such life altering decisions but I just cant bare to think about the disapproving glares of my Dwight and Michael bobbleheads atop the tv while I watch Greys. Either way I'm so happy they're back!!!

SCORE

We had to get up at the crack of dawn this morning because the hubby smashed his hand with a this tool he fashioned (a 5lb sledge hammer with a regular length handle). The up and down side of the medical profession is that you sometimes know who you should and shouldnt see as a Dr. Well a shouldnt was on call last night so we had to truck it to the local Doc-n-Box first thing this morning. Well after hours of convincing him that no it was not ok that this thumb was now 3 inches around, and no black is not a good color for the tip of your finger to have turned and when your knuckle is sideways on your finger it wont just be okay he agreed to get up first thing so we didnt spend all day sitting there. I was irritated anyways for other reasons and getting up at 6 this morning just set it off. When we finally left there I was just plain mad and really didnt want to stop at CVS but we had to get a script filled and I needed shampoo so in I went and THERE IT WAS!!!! Laying in the discount DVD bin was Sex and the City the Movie!!!! It's not supposed to be out until Tuesday and its Sunday and it was on Sale!!!!! I snatched it up wildly like a hungry animal vying for food and kept it closely guarded like someone would see it and realize this was totally a mistake and put them back until Tuesday. I went to check out and not a word was said I nearly jumped up and clicked my heels midair in the parking lot on the way to the car. Once safely locked in the car I looked around and then quietly whispered to the hubby look what I found, and produced it from the bag. He gave me a look like yeah so and I gleefully explained to him that I had an illegal early copy of Sex and The City which was not only illegal and early it was on sale as well. He rolled his eyes and said can we go home rulebreaker? I know it was not much but it was certainly exciting to me because Im cool like that. So I'm going to go watch my DVD and all you haters can wait til Tueday!! WOOHOO!!

To the Car I Love

Dear 2009 Dodge Challenger,

Oh how I love you 2009 Dodge Challenger. Even though you kinda look like the General Lee. Even though there is almost as little room inside of you as the cracker box I currently own (aka the rav aka the biggest piece o s*%t Toyota ever created) I doubt you can touch all 4 windows at the same time so Im good. Even though there is no way I could drive you in any inclement weather. Alas Dear vehicle we cant be together you see my hubby would steal you and turn you into some loud overpowered monster that I would never get to drive much less want to. I'm sorry about this but see I kinda took these wedding vows which trump my love for you. I promise that I will always hold a sweet place in my heart for you and that I will gaze longingly at you from afar but please dont be angry because if my hubby asks I will have to deny my love for you.

Love Always,

A Disheartened Rav4 Owner

Have A Good Laugh

Because I just want to crawl into bed..thats what she said

http://ummyeah.com/page/Every_Single_thats_What_She_Said_From_The_Office

enjoy!