This week Blows Ass

We were supposed to get a kick ass new episode of How I Met Your Met Mother on Monday, instead there was a rambling boring presidental speech fail #1

Tuesday I decided I had enough my new bc pills and I was taking my life back from constant headaches, nausea, and the worst acne I have had since 8th grade and I stopped the MFers and immediately started my period again for the second time this month fail #2

Tuesday we also had a watermain break and lost water wtf? fail #3

Tuesday water returned and I took a shower was in the said shower when the MIL called to tell me we had a boil advisory " honey dont even brush your teeth with it" So im guessing covering your body with it is probably out to? fail#4

Wednesday its like 70 degrees freakin awesome then we have a tornado and lose power if your keeping score at home we have had no power and no water within two days I now think I qualify as living in a third world country. Fail #5

The interstate was shutdown for hours I watched a stoplight literally blow off and seriously considered trying to pee into a dasani bottle but didnt know how to work out the mechanics without ruining the interior of my new car. Fail #6

When I finally made it home the dog had been in the dark for hours and had gone apeshit crazy and decided to see how many rooms he could poo in but I didnt catch on because it was pitch black and being pitch black makes it harder to find 1) a flash light and 2) random piles of poo so I stumbled around trying to find my flash light and cursing and using my cell phone for light and step in at least 4 piles of dog diarrhea in my socks then bare feet, awesome I know your jealous. Fails #'s 7,8,9,10

I contemplated just closing the door and leaving and letting the dog have the house and letting the hubs and the dog figure it out later but I was covered dog shit and I couldnt find my keys and was sobbing by this point and I already knew I couldnt pee in the dasani bottle so this weeks gotta get better right?