momma will bring home the bacon

Well this works on more than one level. Ive been neglecting my blog bc all I do is work. I alternate between liking my job and wanting to run screaming through the glass window next to my desk. I also alternate between knowing what to do and feeling like I want to hide. It also works because my previously mentioned imaginary bf Elliot Sadler was fired yesterday. I was sad but I think that he can stay home and take care of our imaginary children, Elliot Jr. and Lorelei. On the plus side I save money on groceries because I eat one meal day now. I save money on electricity because I am never home to use any. Also I can totally relate to my patients with dementia because I never know what day it is because I am always there except for like those 3-4 hours where I lie unconscious in bed. I hate my job.

now for something completely different

.....Little did I know I was walking into a disaster yesterday when I strolled into work. I work in a long term acute care, so routinely it is high stress but this was a disaster, not stressful there is a difference. This was a F&#/(^G DISASTER. I was completely overwhelmed. The doctor who is basically the only doctor who works there decided he didnt want to work again for two weeks. This being a hospital with no doctor is like a fish with no water except I was thrown into the position of being the water. To say Ive been sucked dry is an understatement. I think he did this as a punishment to some people but all it has done is punish me and I am not the one it was intended to punish. Im completely exhausted and what freaks me out more than anything is that there is absolutely no one covering tomorrow but me. NO DOC that I know of and one was circling the drain today and tomorrow is Christmas eve and I have to work and all I want to do is take a nap I havent wrapped anything and I dont even care. I just want sleep and to not have to work.

Nothing should be this good and easy

.....Thats what she said.

Ok sorry. We have been watching Step Brothers this evening and I think it effected me. Anyway, I went to a cookie swap last night and I have to say as big a pain in the rear as it was to fix all the cookies it was fun to get cookies from a bunch of other people. But I have found the most delicious and easiest cookie my mouth is starting to water a little just thinking about it. Oreo balls kick ass and I highly recommend them.

You crush a package of oreos and mix in 8oz package of cream cheese. Then put in the freezer for a little bit to get cold. Then dip in melted white chocolate.

Im off to make some right now.

I Love It

I have to say that I love finding the absolute perfect gift for someone. I will spend a painful amount of time searching for just the right gift and just the right presentation that matches not only the gift but the person. The hubby is anal about making sure the corners are pointy on the wrapping paper but he would wrap everyones presents in newspaper. He uses way too much tape and he uses no ribbons. The wrapping process ends up being very stressful but I love having the right present with the right wrapping paper giving someone a beautiful present that you know they will love is great. I love it.

Electric Sex In The Window Its Not

My sister shot herself in the hand trying to shoot a raccoon with a BB? bee bee? bebe? gun. This is possibly the most horrifying and hysterical moment of my life. I being a medical professional was trying to show genuine concern and medical knowledge when the whole thing occurred but all I could go was dance around singing you'll shoot your eye out. I laugh when I get nervous anyway and I just couldn't stop. Its really official now I'm awful person.

Now If I Was Home Long Enough to Spend It

The other PA quit or was sorta fired or something Im not quite sure. I have massive overtime. This is great sorta. But Im never home. Im exhausted. I got my first paycheck and it was awesome. It was more than what I made the entire time I was at my last job. I'm brain fried and I need a nap and will write more later.

Two for Tuesday

1) When I graduated high school I bought myself a ring as a dig to my then bf. It was aptly named the "Nobody loves me like me ring" because we were going off to different schools and while I certainly didnt want a ring well long story short, I found it Im rocking it again its pretty. I like it.

2) I noticed yesterday my hair had finally grown out from the last time I had decided to cut it on a whim. Last night I started wanting to do something different with it.

Hump Day Monday Edition

Its been a tough week already. The other PA is apparently

a) an ass

b) the golden child or has incriminating photos of someone

c) driven to piss me off and take away every day I have by not showing up ever

I dont want to talk about it though.

Instead I would like to talk about how I am dumping my imaginary bf Elliot Sadler.

a) He is pissing me off by finishing every race 20+ this season.

b) I have loved him longingly for several years even at the disgust of the hubs and other racing spectators sitting around us but he refuses to pine away for me and is getting married probably even as we speak.

c) His horns would probably poke out my eyes anyways during relations.

Its ok I have moved on, at least until February when racing starts again because lets face it sometimes you need others things to think about while watching 42 guys drive in a circle and rough and dirty sex with Elliot Sadler is a good one. Oh sorry I was supposed to be off him now.

I watched this Hallmark Movie last night about Tourettes because well theres nothing like a Hallmark movie when you have PMS to make you want to lay under the back tires of the car. But in moments before my eyes swelled shut from hysterical crying at the triumph of the human spirit I had enough time to develop a strong urge to climb on this guy. James Wolk wow weee yeah hes a great actor because he played Tourettes great but yowsa.

So to summarize the other PA at work better watch his back, I have PMS, Elliot Sadler and I have broken up, and James Wolk made me so erotically charged while watching a Hallmark Hall of Fame Movie I made a Hump Day post on a Monday!

Gingersnap Latte STAT

So my workplace has become very hostile and stressful. Theres some major conflict and I have a major urge to either drink coffee or eat a jar of peanut butter with a spoon everyday when I come home. I chew at least a pack of gum a day while I'm there to prevent from
a) chewing on my tongue
b) swallowing my tongue
c) bitch slapping someone
Its pretty much like I'm trapped in an episode of the Hills only theres no script and its way less predictable so I have no idea whats going to happen and I'm constantly on edge oh also theres a lot of patients on ventilators. The only reason I havent yet jumped out one of the windows is that my boss knows that its getting deep in there and brings me Gingersnap Latte's when he decides to show up and also because I sing Britney Spears loudly in my car on the way to and from work.

HaHa

Someone recently found my site with "what a teenager does on vacay" sorry to disappoint you. Unless you are a perv and you were using this info for pervy gain and then good Im glad this was a fruitless search.

Hump Day

Elliot Sadler- If Elliot Sadler were a mansteak I'd like to take a big bite. Happy Hump Day

Two for Tuesday

1) I got 7th row Britney Spears tickets today for the day before my 26th birthday

2) I am a total dork

The Hubs is Not Nice But Is Funny

Last night the dog disappeared under the couch with the remote and the tv went to one of those music weird music channels. Well being two grown adults we are both scared of our small dog and too lazy to do any about it so we continued to stare blankly at the tv. Then Memories came on and I told the hubs my mom used to sing this to me while she waited for me to take a shower. (See I had to have a shower monitor at first or I would sit down and go to sleep or just sit down and spend hours in there, see the narcolepsy/laziness has been around for awhile.) The hubs looked at me and said "Did you ever think you smelled so bad she had to do that to take her mind off of it?"

Gee honey thanks love you too.